When The Truth Get's Twisted & You're Left To Drown

It’s incredibly exhausting when you’re drowning, flailing, barely keeping your head above water, and people can’t see it or don't want to. 

Like you’re out here fighting for your life, and instead of throwing you a lifeline, they’re either telling you to figure it out on your own or asking why you didn’t save them. Like… how? I can’t even save myself.

And let’s not pretend this isn’t a thing. 

How many people battling addiction, struggling with mental health, or even unaliving themselves were treated this same way? 

Does anyone ever wonder how they got to that point or did they just detach and judge them? 

Were they left to fend for themselves because, apparently, helping them wasn’t anyone’s “responsibility.” 

If it’s not our moral obligation to help each other—especially the people closest to us—then what’s the point anyway?

Yes, there are situations people need to handle on their own. 

Yes, there are lessons they’ll only learn through struggle. 

But refusing to help someone who’s already at their breaking point? That’s not tough love.

That’s sabotage. And contrary to popular belief, that’s not them “playing the victim” or having a “victim mindset.” 

There’s a big difference between someone who’s choosing to stay stuck and someone who’s genuinely overwhelmed, unsupported, and trying their best to stay afloat. 

Not helping while having the capability to do so, is like standing on the shore with a life preserver in your hand, watching someone drown, and saying, “They need to stop acting like a victim and figure out how to swim.”

The people who tell you—or the people who could’ve helped you—not to intervene, not to throw that life preserver, have clearly never been the ones in the ocean. 

They don’t know what it’s like to feel like you’re seconds away from going under. 

They don’t know how it feels to flail for help, only to be met with silence or blame. 

And if they do know what it’s like, why would you want that experience for someone you claim to care about? Break the cycle of hurt.  

What makes it worse? When you’re the one who’s always shown up. The one who bent over backward to help the people you love. Or was simply kind in their time of need. 

And now, in your moment of need, they’ve decided you don’t deserve reciprocation out of pettiness or because they’ve got other things going on. 

What if something happens to you? 

Will they feel bad? 

Or will they just judge you for falling short of perfect one more time?

That’s what life has felt like for me lately.

And honestly, I’ve never been the type of woman that seeks validation from people. 

I’ve always been able to stand ten toes down in my decisions and know I did what was best for me. But right now? After everything I’ve been through? I want it. 

I want someone to say out loud that what happened wasn’t right. 

That it wasn’t fair. 

That the lies, the betrayal, the way I’ve been abandoned—that’s not on me.

Because it hurts. 

It hurts when the truth is twisted into a narrative that paints you as the problem. 

It hurts when the people who should’ve had your back don’t. 

And it’s lonely as hell when you’re left to pick up the pieces while they act like everything is fine.

Here’s the thing: I know validation won’t change what happened. It won’t rewrite the lies or undo the betrayal. 

But it would feel damn good to have someone see me. To have someone acknowledge my truth without me having to scream it from the rooftops.

And maybe you’ve been there too. 

Maybe you’ve been drowning while some of the people around you kept their hands in their pockets.

Maybe you’ve been painted as the problem when you were the only one trying to keep it all together. 

If you have, I want you to know you’re not crazy for feeling this way. 

&You’re not wrong for wanting someone to recognize the truth.

But here’s what I’ve learned: even when they don’t, your truth doesn’t stop being valid. 

Their silence doesn’t erase what you know to be real. And their inability to hold themselves accountable doesn’t make you any less worthy of healing, peace, or love.

If you’re out here fighting to stay afloat, know this—you’re not alone. 

You don’t have to accept the lies they’re telling, and you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone who’s too blind or selfish to see the truth.

Sis, let this be all the validation you need today: You’re enough. You’ve always been enough. And no matter how loud the noise gets, the truth is still the truth. Period.

- Ashli 🫶🏽✨