Gratitude Is Grown Woman Work

Thanksgiving is here, and while everyone’s reflecting on what they’re grateful for, I’ve been thinking about how gratitude isn’t always easy.

 

It’s not just about the big, obvious things—it’s also about finding something meaningful in the middle of life’s chaos. 

And if we’re being honest, that’s the space I’ve been living in lately. 

Gratitude doesn’t always come naturally, but it’s still something I’m choosing to lean into and that’s where the grown-woman work comes in.

Lately, I’ve been craving something deeper—emotional intimacy, connection, presence. 

I want to feel seen. 

I want someone to get it—to really see and understand me—without me having to explain every little thing. 

I’m not ready to date or anything, but I am ready to make new connections and forge better friendships. 

I want to be around people who genuinely like and appreciate me for who I am, people who make me feel seen and valued in ways that feel real and mutual.

BUT, This separation still feels fresh, and I know I need time to process it all. 

But instead of leaning in, I do what I always do: isolate. When I’m emotionally off, I push everyone away, lock myself in this little bubble, and sit in my own mess. And honestly? That’s where I’ve been girl. 

And here’s what I’ve learned: sitting with your feelings? 

It’s ugly. 

It’s uncomfortable. 

But it’s necessary. 

In that stillness, I’ve been learning more about myself. I’ve been journaling, having hard self-conversations, and asking myself questions I used to avoid: What do I really need? What’s holding me back? Why do I keep running from this?

But let me be real for a second—self-work is not a cure-all. Sure, it helps. But there are still those moments where I just crave more. 

I want deep conversations that stretch me, make me curious, and feed my mind. 

I want to feel understood. 

And you know what? That doesn’t make me weak—it makes me human.

So, this Thanksgiving, I’m choosing gratitude—not the aesthetic version, but the messy, grown-woman kind. 

I’m thankful for the solitude that’s teaching me how to show up for myself. 

I’m thankful for the clarity that comes after sitting with the hard stuff. 

And I’m thankful for realizing that it’s okay to crave connection, to want more for myself, and to demand more from the relationships around me.

If you’re in a season where gratitude feels complicated, that’s okay too. 

Start small. 

One thing I’ve learned is that practicing gratitude doesn’t have to be deep—it just has to be intentional. Here’s what’s been helping me:

• Name three small wins each day. Even if it’s just, “I got out of bed,” or “I made my breakfast exactly how I like it.” Little things count, sis (especially if you're struggling with depression).

• Flip the script. When life’s giving chaos, ask yourself, What’s one thing I can appreciate in this moment? It could be the lesson you’re learning or the fact that you’re still standing.

• Express it out loud. Call or text someone you appreciate and let them know. That connection? It hits different.

• Tie it to your routine. When you brush your teeth or make coffee, think of one thing you’re grateful for. It makes gratitude feel less like a task and more like a habit.

• Look back at your growth. Think about where you were a year ago or even six months ago. Celebrate how far you’ve come.

Because gratitude isn’t about pretending everything’s perfect—it’s about holding space for the messy and the meaningful.

And here’s why it matters: practicing gratitude, even when it’s hard, helps you build resilience. It teaches your brain to focus on the good, creates emotional balance, and strengthens your relationships. 

It’s not about fixing everything, but about finding little anchors of peace in the middle of the storm.

So if gratitude feels like a struggle for you right now, that’s okay. Start where you are. 

Appreciate the little wins, acknowledge your growth, and remind yourself that even in the chaos, there’s something worth being thankful for.

Ashli 🫶🏽