Skip to main content

11 Powerful Lessons I’m Learning While Rebuilding My Life at 30

I turned 30 this year. And nobody warns you how vicious that shift from 29 to 30 really is.




It’s the age where you start feeling the weight of every choice you’ve made, every version of yourself you’ve left unfinished. 


Where womanhood isn’t just a concept, it’s a responsibility. Not to anyone else, but to yourself: your peace, your growth, your life.


I’m stepping into that woman fully. The one who decides what her life looks like, sets boundaries, and refuses to compromise on her well-being. And let me tell you… it’s messy. It’s ugly. 


It’s the kind of growth that makes you feel like the old version of yourself is fighting with the new version, whispering, just stop, stay comfortable, stay small. But the new version? She’s yelling back: I want more, I deserve more, I’m not settling.


2024 was the turning point for me. The back-to-back hits, the real lessons, the wake-up calls, they forced me to confront where I was stuck, where I was compromising, and where I had to take full ownership of my life.


Here’s what I’m building my life on now and the lessons I want to share so someone else doesn’t have to waste the energy I did.


1. I am my own stability.


I don’t tie my sense of security to titles, roles, or circumstances. My foundation is internal.


Why it matters: You can’t rely on things outside of you to feel safe. That means a job, a partner, or even a schedule can vanish overnight. When you invest in your own steadiness first, everything else becomes easier to handle, so the next time life shakes, you don’t wobble because your foundation isn’t external, it’s you.


P.s. this one has been a hard one for me because of life hitting me back to back. It definitely eats your sense of security in all areas. You start thinking like why me why does this keep happening to me and let me be the first to tell you, don’t get stuck there. That’s building a victim mindset and I promise you, you don’t wanna get stuck there. It’s gonna start a whole new lesson.


2. I don’t wait on people to show up for me.


I wasted so much time/energy expecting support that never came. Some people simply won’t show up, no matter how much you push or hope.


Why it matters: Waiting for others is giving your power away. You can’t control their timing, willingness, or commitment. When you stop waiting, you start acting on your own priorities. That’s where real progress begins. The people who do show up will complement your path, not dictate it.


3. A partner is an asset, not an access point.


Relationships have to add value, not keep you in place.


Why it matters: Leaning on someone as a crutch keeps you stuck, even when it feels “comfortable.” Focus on what you bring to the table and what the other person contributes, no compromises on your growth. Your life moves faster and smoother when you’re not pushing anyone just to meet your needs.


4. My peace is non-negotiable.


I don’t sacrifice well-being for appearances or comfort.


Why it matters: If your peace is optional, everything else suffers. Your productivity, your relationships, even your health. Protecting it may upset people or break routines, but it’s worth it. Real respect starts with self-respect.


Every time I’ve been extremely stressed out, I’ve end up in hospital. The first time was a cancer scare. The second time it was pneumonia. It also affected my money.  Stress can literally kill you. Learn from my mistakes and take care of yourself. 


5. Leaving is a two-step process.


The first step is physical; the second is mental.


Why it matters: Walking away isn’t enough. You have to detach from old patterns and thought loops to really move forward. Otherwise, you carry the situation with you in energy and mindset. True freedom comes when your brain finally stops looping “what used to be.”


6. I choose controlled power over chaos.


Strength isn’t reaction; it’s restraint.


Why it matters: Life will push your buttons. People will provoke, systems will fail, and stress will mount. But reacting to everything keeps you in the mess. Choosing measured responses keeps your energy, focus, and momentum intact. That’s real power.


7. I am the sole sovereign of my life’s movement.


No one else gets to dictate my pace… financially, emotionally, or personally.


Why it matters: Waiting for others’ accountability or approval is wasted energy. When you take ownership of every move, every project, every boundary, every decision… you control your trajectory. & your progress isn’t dependent on anyone else.


I’m still working on this one too.





8. My value controls the pace.


I lead with my worth, not my need for validation.


Why it matters: You can’t rush intimacy, opportunities, or professional access to please others. Boundaries aren’t punishment, they’re filters. They protect your energy while letting the right people and opportunities in at the right pace.


9. I embrace radical acceptance.


Life isn’t fair. Freedom comes from focusing on what you can control.


Why it matters: Fighting life for fairness drains energy. Acceptance doesn’t mean passivity; it means recognizing reality and redirecting your energy into building the life you want. Stop hoping life will “even out” and start choosing your response.


P.s. and please don’t waste your time trying to make life fair. This is another area I wasted a lot of time and energy on. Simply because I didn’t want to be responsible for other people shortcomings, if you change your perspective and stop waiting on fairness to dictate your moves, you can make more progress forward sooner.


10. I cut the ties that bind.


Old debts, unfinished obligations, lingering logistics, they all tether you to a past version of yourself.


Why it matters: Every small cord you sever frees mental and emotional energy. You can’t step fully into the life you’re building while dragging leftover weight from your old life. Do the closure work, it’s practical and symbolic.


To the young girl reading this, let that man go. That’s the message carry on.


11. I trust my divine calling over instant profit. I deserve support.


Showing up for the work I’m meant to do matters more than quick results.


Why it matters: Short-term wins can distract from long-term alignment. Purpose drives sustainable success. And asking for help isn’t weakness, it’s leverage. Accepting support allows you to operate at the level your vision requires. You don’t have to do it all alone.


Turning 30 didn’t just mark another year. It marked the start of choosing myself fully, in every decision, boundary, and lesson is mine to build on.


Transformation isn’t clean or easy. It’s messy. It’s hard. It forces you to confront your habits, your comfort zones, and every expectation that no longer serves you. But that’s where real power lives.


I’m not waiting anymore. I’m not compromising anymore. I’m building the life I want, on my terms, in real time. And that woman? She’s unstoppable.


Ready to walk into your unstoppable timeline you need to be a part of my woman’s community —> https://sherichdigital.com/pages/she-rich-business-funnel

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

When The Truth Get's Twisted & You're Left To Drown

It’s incredibly exhausting when you’re drowning, flailing, barely keeping your head above water, and people can’t see it or don't want to.  Like you’re out here fighting for your life, and instead of throwing you a lifeline, they’re either telling you to figure it out on your own or asking why you didn’t save them . Like… how? I can’t even save myself. And let’s not pretend this isn’t a thing .  How many people battling addiction, struggling with mental health, or even unaliving themselves were treated this same way?   Does anyone ever wonder how they got to that point or did they just detach and judge them?  Were they left to fend for themselves because, apparently, helping them wasn’t anyone’s “ responsibility .”  If it’s not our moral obligation to help each other—especially the people closest to us—then what’s the point anyway? Yes, there are situations people need to handle on their own.  Yes, there are lessons they’ll only learn through struggle....

Would You Take Your Own Advice? Be Honest.

You ever notice how people will give advice like it’s the key to life, but when you ask them if they’d follow it in your shoes, they get quiet real quick?  It’s like they’ve got all the answers until the spotlight’s on them  and it’s giving ‘Do as I say, not as I do.’  And, honestly, I’ve been there too. I'm no better. I’ve had those moments where I’ve given advice I wouldn’t even take myself.  But self-reflection teaches you a lot about how and why you give advice and why sometimes, we need to check ourselves. Let's unpack that!

Sis, It’s Time to Rebuild and Step Into That Confidence You Deserve

Over the last few years, life has been giving me lessons I didn’t even ask for. I was married for five years (we’d been together even longer), and recently, my husband and I decided to part ways. I’m not gonna lie—this new chapter has been uncomfortable. Like, really uncomfortable.  But it’s also been the kind of discomfort that forces you to grow.  For so long, I felt like I wasn’t fully me in that relationship. Now? I’m rediscovering who I am. Which I guess is perfect timing because I’ll be 30 next year.   I’m focused on rebuilding and showing up for myself again. 🫶🏽✨ And let me tell you, it feels so good.  I’m starting to see myself in the mirror and recognize the woman I’ve always been.  If you’re feeling stuck, unsure, or like you’ve lost yourself, sis, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too, and I’m here to help you find your way back to you.